Crushing Invisible Barriers: Onset of a Glorious Marital Destiny
Dee Kyalo
Discover the secret to overcoming the invisible barriers that hinder and delay many individuals in their pursuit of long-lasting relationships that are intended to culminate into successful marriage.

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book excerpt

There seems to be a few misconceptions about being single that I want to work through. The truth is that a single person can fully experience and enjoy God’s blessings in their lives. God does not look down on single people and it is not right for anyone else to do so either. Single life can be exciting and fulfilling; it’s not a burden, but a blessing in itself. There are tremendous opportunities in single life. You are missing out if you refuse to make the most of your singleness— that is what God intended for you. There may be pressure both from inside you and from society to start thinking otherwise, but remember singleness can be as exciting or as dreary as you make it. I will share something a friend emailed to me. How to stop people from bugging you about getting married: Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.6 What I’m saying is this, I believe you have planned your life and there is a time-frame in which you have purposed to do certain things—marriage included. Take your time and enjoy every bit of it. After all, Ecclesiastes 3:1 reads, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.” I want to be very clear about this. Wholeness comes from within—knowing who you are in Christ, not from someone else. It comes by putting the Lord first in your life. If you are not happy being alone, then you will continually look to others for your happiness. How miserable is that! If you can’t stand to be with you, how will anyone else? Singleness is not a condition to be cured, but an opportunity to be explored and lived out to its fullest. A single person is not unfinished or inadequate in any way. The world may have a different view, which is why there is an unhealthy obsession about sex and relationships; but the Word says we already have all things that pertain to life and godliness7—all we need in God, we have it! Today, singles are faced with excessive pressure to find someone they can share life with more intimately. Christian singles are not exempt from this and sometimes find themselves going through life focusing on when the perfect partner will appear. If you do this, you will miss out on life. Being single is not a burden—but a blessing. Stewardship of singleness (which comes before marriage) is the first requirement before we can face the commitment of marriage. Being single is only a problem if you view it so. There is no reason strong enough to be depressed or embarrassed about being single. I have heard that sometimes single people and especially those within the church feel left out or looked down on by those that are married. The only thing that will help anyone feeling like this is their knowledge and understanding of who they are and whose they are. Single or married, people will have their opinions of you. Therefore, if you’ll be interacting with married people, it is necessary to choose friends who will model a godly family. Anyone who looks down on you because you are single does not understand that marriage is not impossible for you to achieve. You’re a child of God and all things are possible to you. That being said, you must have a clear comprehension that life does not begin at marriage. Life begins in the exact moment when we submit ourselves to Christ and make Him Lord, when the Holy Spirit comes to dwell within us and take residence within us. By the way, your spiritual life is not dependent on your love life. Your love life should be dependent on your spiritual life.