Seven Steps To Keeping Intimacy, After You Say I Do
Mrs A Morgan
This book was designed to aide couples who are married, engaged, contemplating marriage, divorced, or contemplating divorce. It's purpose is to allow each person to take a look withing themselves and to realaize that your marriage can work, with Gods help.
INTIMACY WITH GOD FIRST
The most important part of any relationship is to put God first. If you are not spending time with God, loving HIM, getting to know HIS needs, wants, and desires, you will not get to know what your mate wants, need, or desires. Most of us do not put the time into our marriages to study one another, and, unfortunately, that is the only way we will know what each other needs are. If you are the kind of person who gets up in the morning just in time to shower, dress, kiss your wife or husband and kids and are out of the door, your relationship will suffer. Just as God deserves our time with Him and especially upon rising, so does our spouse. We have found that time with God first, allows both of us to focus on love, because God is love. Maybe you went to bed the night before and where angry with one another. When you awoke the next morning, the first thing that popped into your mind was last nightâ€™s argument. That is not the way to start your day.
One or perhaps both of you needs to arise early in the morning and go before the Lord and first ask for forgiveness because in Ephesians 4:26 it says: â€śBe ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:â€ť If you know that you were angry before going to bed, then you should always try to make it right. Forgiveness is so important in our marriages. Developing our intimacy with the Lord can lead us directly to His open arms and while we are there, we should desire to forgive. Make sure that you take the time to spend with the Lord every day before you leave your homes. Sometimes, it is not the quantity of time spent but the quality. Make an appointment with God a priority in your life just as you do on your jobs. You set appoints there and are sure to keep them, your time with the Lord is even more important. God does not expect more from us than we can give, if you have not spent time with Him recently, start small and build upon it. You will find that the more time you spend with Him, the more you will want. After awhile it will become the most important thing in your scheduled day is to have your quite time with the Lord and you will learn to treasure it. I have become extremely selfish with my quite times and very demanding that I get them. I feel lost and empty during my day if I have not successfully spent time with the Lord; there is definitely a void in my life.
We must be willing to develop a relationship that is sincere, lasting and loving with GOD first, then and only then will we be able to develop that loving relationship with each other. If you have never seen love through a mom or dad then your only source is from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. God is Love, it says in 1Jo 4:7 â€ś Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.â€ť He is the best teacher and example any of us could ever have. God is also a jealous God and He, like our mates, wants our time on a continuous basis.
Women, allow me to diverse for a few moments, as a child I did not know or have the love of a father. As a result of that, I really did not know what real love was. My mom worked hard to take good care of us; however, she did not know real love either. My mom never really knew her parents, my grandmother passed when she was seven years old and my grandfather allowed an aunt to raise her. She grew up without the love of a mother or father and the aunt was not a good example. She grew up working hard as a young child and only had unpleasant memories of her childhood. It was difficult for me as well growing up not understanding why my mom was not affectionate, or I never heard her say that she loved us. It was not until I was much older and married for some years that God revealed to me what had happened. You cannot give something that you have never received. Intimacy starts with knowing how to love you first then God. If you grow up not knowing love, it is almost impossible to love you because you feel that you are unlovable. God is love and nothing else, however, if you never had a father or mother figures that you could express that love to you, then you do not know how to receive or give love to a male figure. So, ultimately after you enter into marriage you are striving to learn how to love. I believe the very best way to learn love as I stated earlier is to love you. Quite often, because of our upbringing or family traits; we can and do withhold our love for fear of being rejected or hurt. We put up walls to protect us. It is easier to put up a wall than it is to tear it down. When we allow ourselves to learn love through the teaching of the Holy Spirit we become more accessible to giving and receiving love. Developing our intimacy with God first, erases the feelings and fear of being hurt. Then we can dispel the walls that we originally built.