Healing Within the Storm Lillian Holcomb
Are you looking for empathy while going through a difficult separation or divorce? Are you the spouse left behind due to an affair? Journey through this book to be encouraged, inspired, and strengthened with one who has been there.
Promises of God
So, your spouse made a vow, a promise to you on your wedding day, and now it has been broken or it is about to break, or it has been shattered. None of us want to face those kinds of broken promises. My initial reaction to my husband was to point out those vows we made on our wedding day, and I told him that he made a promise â€“ that he canâ€™t break those promises. It was a covenant, a vow before God, us, our family and friends. How can they break a promise like that? Did you have the same defense with your spouse? How dare they break their marriage vows to us! Itâ€™s just not supposed to be that wayâ€¦but yes, we must face those broken promises, whether we want to or not. Please know that those vows have not been completely severed, even though you are divorced or it seems it is going down that road. It just doesnâ€™t work that way.
Why? To whom did I mention that the promise was spoken to? Yes, your marriage vows also include a third partner â€“ God, if part of your wedding ceremony included a prayer before God. Therefore, your marriage has been covered in Godâ€™s presence ever since day one. Well, if it has been covered in Godâ€™s presence since day one, then how come my marriage is in shambles? Because the other two partners, you and your spouse, are human who hold a sin nature. We all fall short of Godâ€™s standards, (Romans 3:23). More than likely, your spouse has turned their backs on God, and have pushed those vows aside for their own agenda, desires, and attitudes. But again, your marriage is still in tact.
Think of your marriage as a hair braid. You have to have three strands of hair in order to create a hair braid. Now, one of those strands are cut, and it is trying itâ€™s best to make its way out of the braid, yet all the while, the other two strands are holding it together throughout the rest of the braid. Itâ€™s not going to happen because the braid is so intertwined together. The strand next to the broken strand is representing you, the spouse who is trying to hold the marriage together, yet at the same time, the strand is becoming weaker because the first strand was broken (your spouseâ€™s strand). However, that third strand happens to be a representation of God, which is the strongest of all the strands and is so intertwined into both of you that the braid canâ€™t possibly be broken completely, ever. And if the weaker strand which is uncut, you, remains intact, and doesnâ€™t get caught up in the entanglement that the severed strand is maneuvering, then the braid remains.
And just how do you remain in that predicament with the strength of God intertwined around you? What makes you stay? What makes you stay in this hellhole when your spouse abandons you and moves 1000 miles away? What makes you stay committed to God when all hell is breaking lose? What makes you cling to God when nothing around you is worth spitting at? What makes you stay in your marriage when everyone else is telling you that he/she is not worth the wait? Just what is this power over you that keeps you from surrendering everything in your marriage?
It certainly is not the present marriage situation. Why should you even hold on to this person who has broken your heart, and has shot the marriage to pieces with all of their â€“ well, you fill in the blanks. It is the very covenant we made with our spouse before God, and that God made before you as you started your life out as husband and wifeâ€¦for better or for worse.
And why was God even in the picture? Was it because everyone else had a church wedding and so that is why the prayer was thrown in there? He certainly isnâ€™t this great big eye in the sky watching every move we make, while shaking his finger at us. Thatâ€™s not a clear picture of God. He isnâ€™t this other being that is put up on a shelf and is taken down when we need Him. Might as well treat him like an old rag doll if you are going to picture him like that. Umâ€¦God doesnâ€™t stand by like that. He didnâ€™t see it that way. God saw it as a covenant between you and your spouse because He made you male and female becoming one as husband and wife. He was the One Who brought you together, and He is in the sole business of restoration. He was there when you had your first fightâ€¦He brought you back togetherâ€¦and Heâ€™s still there, even though you have parted ways or will be forced to part ways.
When you are torn from your spouse through no action of your own, and you do not want a divorce, then you cannot hold on to your spouse or anything having to do with your spouse, but you must remain faithful to the part in your vows when they say, â€œfor better or for worseâ€¦till death do we partâ€ Remember, this is a promise you made before God, and He is the one who is going to hold this marriage together, no matter how tattered and bullet-riddled it is right now, if only you stand on His promises given to you during this time. If it had not been for the promises that God so graciously promised to me during this stand, and the fulfillment He showed in each one of them, I can honestly say that I, as a hurting and scorned wife would have just folded up and withered away in some psych hospital with everything that occurred in my life. Godâ€™s promises became my lifejacket keeping me afloat of
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