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book excerpt

How do I explain MS, Multiple Sclerosis? What do I tell people when they ask, “How do you feel?” Wow! What a question! Learning what to say is tough. I did not know about MS before 1999. Yes, I guess I knew it was out there. It was a disease, but the symptoms were unknown to me. It was just something rare that some “other” people got. The diagnosis was unknown to our family. No one I knew had MS. So, how can I tell you about it? Let me assure you, you will receive a different story from each person with MS, because each person with MS has different symptoms, different feelings, and different attitudes. There are thousands of therapies available, both medical and alternative medications. And, they each affect MSers differently. We are each dealing with it on a different level, depending on how long you been diagnosed, where you have been affected physically, what therapies you are taking, and especially your attitude towards your MS. You cannot explain what you do not understand. You cannot understand what you have never felt. Everyone says, “You look fine.” Yes, but it is the invisible symptoms that get you! They are unseen, lying beneath the surface. In addition, each day is different. Believe me I know! Try to imagine, if you will… if you can... Imagine waking up in the morning and you cannot see out of your right eye. There is a huge cotton ball in the way. Bits and pieces are there within view, along with the aggravation. You cannot figure out what is wrong! Imagine your right hand not working. Your fourth and fifth finger is tingling, and your hand is weak. You can’t seem to grasp things to hang onto them. Your hand seems numb. Imagine the feelings gone out of your hands. You cannot feel the smoothness of your loved ones skin. Imagine that you are so weak and it seems you cannot move. It feels like you have run a 200-mile marathon. You cannot think. You legs have weights connected to them. Imagine your mind being foggy. You have trouble focusing on your plans, on your goals. What am I supposed to do? What was I doing? Imagine planning a shopping trip only to have your body remind you that you are unable to walk that much, and your head is spinning with just the idea of it. Imagine knowing that a long soak in a hot bath will drain your body and leave you with no energy to get out of the tub. (So much for a hot, soothing bubble bath!) Imagine knowing that you may not be able to take your children to the beach to soak up the rays of the sun at the lake. You might not be able to get back to the car! Is playing at the lake or beach all over? Imagine you are married to the most wonderful man in the world and you have two wonderful children, and have a wonderful house, and yet it seems your life itself is missing from the picture. Imagine thinking that you might not be able to walk again, or see again, or use other parts of your body that are common with every day use. No one can imagine how MS can make you feel, the symptoms can come and go and change with each day. I could never, ever imagine what it would be like… before MS entered my world. And, honestly, dear reader, I cannot expect you to understand. But, please Imagine the rest of the story… Knowing that you are never alone, you always have a friend beside you, He will NEVER fail you, and that He has NOT forgotten you. He has written you a book of encouraging stories. He has left you a book full of proof of his love to you. Page after page, telling you He loves you. Line after line of His encouraging peace and grace. Now… Imagine a happy, joyous ending to your story. Imagine welcoming home parties like you have never dreamed! Imagine no more pain, no more sorrow, no more bills, no more doctors, no more stress. All this made possible because of one person who thought of you two thousand years ago, and planned to give you a new home, a personal gift, handmade for you. Imagine someone who suffered, humiliation, isolation, fear, hopelessness, loss of friendships, loss of hope, discouragement, and finally after all this, pain and death on a cruel cross, hung for the world to see. This man gave His pain willingly and graciously for you, for me. Somehow, He understands what I have gone through. He knows. Now, imagine, knowing the Heavenly Father personally. How amazing that He would love ME! He made it possible for me, through the death of His Son Jesus Christ, to be able to write this book to you, this Story of Love. The Story of His Love to me. And, the story of my family’s love to me!