DO NOT START CONFLICTS
Though publicly slighted, Jesus behaved graciously and didn’t create a scene after The Pharisee asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house but the Pharisee didn’t anoint His head with oil or wash His feet as was the custom.
Copy Him and conduct yourself civilly when wronged for It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel. (Proverbs 20:3)
In addition, know that you don’t have to fight every time you are provoked for The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression. (Proverbs 19:11). So, Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. (James 1:19) Ignore minor slurs and Do not take to heart everything people say (Ecclesiastes 7:21) or do.
Conversely, don’t start conflicts like the Pharisees in the 1st conflict. Do not strive with a man without cause, if he has done you no harm. (Proverbs 3:30)
Do not also create conflicts between those living or working together harmoniously for One who sows discord among brethren (Proverbs 6:16-19) is among the 7 things that are an abomination to the Lord.
DO RESPOND APPROPRIATELY
In addition to not kissing or anointing Jesus, the Pharisee also thought negatively of Him when Mary, for It was that Mary who anointed the Lord with fragrant oil and wiped His feet with her hair (John 11:2), begun to wash His feet.
He spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.”
And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” So he said, “Teacher, say it.” Then Jesus diplomatically taught him about the creditor who had forgiven his 2 debtors.
Though Jesus felt his public snub and saw his irreverent thoughts, He remained calm and chose the right moment and the right words so that He could respond constructively rather than just react counterproductively.
So, refuse to be drawn into fights and conflicts even when you have been provoked and re-provoked. Restrain yourself like Jesus and respond respectfully.
DRAW ON PARABLES
Emulate Jesus and use parables to avert conflicts. He told of A certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed 500 denarii, and the other 50. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both.
By asking the Pharisee Which of them will love him more?” he helped him see why Mary, a well known sinner, and thus the forgiven 500 denarii debtor, would express her great love by washing His feet with her tears, drying them with her hair and anointing them with perfume.
The Pharisee on the other hand, who most likely considered himself the 50 denarii debtor in comparison to Mary’s many know sins, hadn’t even loved his invited guest enough to perform the customary host rites for as Jesus said, To whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.
In another incident, Jesus used a short story to evade a conflict for He went into their synagogue. And behold, there was a man who had a withered hand. And they asked Him, saying, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?” – that they might accuse Him.
Then He said to them, “What man is there among you who has one sheep, and if it falls into a pit on the Sabbath, will not lay hold of it and lift it out?
Of how much more value then is a man than a sheep?
Therefore it is lawful to do good on the Sabbath.” Then He said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” And … it was restored. (Matthew 12:10-13)
Jesus also used questions to avoid conflicts for It happened on one of those days, as He taught the people in the temple and preached the gospel, that the chief priests and the scribes, together with the elders, confronted Him and spoke to Him, saying,
“Tell us, by what authority are You doing these things? Or who is he who gave You this authority?”
But He answered and said to them, “I also will ask you one thing, and answer Me: The baptism of John – was it from heaven or from men?”
And they reasoned among themselves, saying, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ He will say, ‘Why then did you not believe him?’ But if we say, ‘From men,’ all the people will stone us, for they are persuaded that John was a prophet.” So they answered that they did not know where it was from.
And Jesus said to them, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I do these things.” (Luke 20:1-8)
So learn from Him to think quickly and side step conflicts by using parables, proverbs, questions or even tasteful jokes.
Learn to disagree agreeably, dispute charmingly, disapprove sympathetically, oppose pleasantly and complain nicely.
Jesus did so, for without creating strife, He let the Pharisee know his errors, for He turned to the woman and said to Simon, ‘Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears … You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet … You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil.
By tying Mary’s actions to Simon’s slights, Jesus complained tactfully and tastefully.
He also sensitively shifted His attention from Simon to Mary as He spoke to avoid unduly embarrassing him.
In addition, Jesus informed him in a nice way that He knew that Mary had made many mistakes for He said, “I say it you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven.”