“It’s never about me. It’s always about somebody else and I get shafted. Why!?? You’re the one who is supposed to love me. You’re the one who is supposed to be in charge and now this! Again! Why? Shit! I hate everything!” she yelled to the God above her ceiling.
The girl raised her eyes toward Heaven but saw only the crack around the old fixture and the bright pink ceiling with no crown molding. Praying was hard for her but this time she knew exactly what to say. She threw herself on the bed and refused to cry. She wanted to be as angry as she possibly could be. She hammered her fist against the wall until small green welts appeared on the mint colored wall next to her bed. Colors she had chosen.
When the door opened she refused to look up or in any way acknowledge her foster mother. “Kashata, baby. Don’t be so angry. I told you it might turn out all right. Remember? I told you..” Sallyruth, patted the girl on the head as she sat beside her on the bed.
“ Don’t touch me!” Kashata screamed.
Sallyruth removed her hand so fast as though it might catch on fire. She sat and contemplated the small head covered with long waves of rich black hair. Then she tried once more time.
“Kashata. Listen to me. We are all still here. We will probably stay here and so will you. Just because I lost my job doesn’t mean we’ll leave. I am only applying in other places to see what will happen. I am also applying locally. You know that. Don’t go wailing your head off yet. You’re OK just now.”
The girl turned her face just enough to scowl in response. “Yeah. I know this story. I’ve been there at least ten times, remember? I don’t trust you. I don’t trust anybody anymore. Go away. I have to pray.”